With Valentine's Day coming up, it's time to get planning, and figure out what cute, affordable date ideas will make your day!

If you're having a mind blank when it comes to celebrating Valentine's day, I've put together a list of cute, affordable date ideas to help ya out (you're welcome).

Watch Sunsets: 

This is honestly one of my favourite things to do with my boyfriend. Nature often has a way of reminding us how wonderful the world is, and there's something simple yet special about sharing that view with a partner, just taking a moment or two to take in the world together. If you're planning a sunset viewing, keep an eye on the weather, and find a spot with a good viewpoint. Living in Bristol/Gloucester, some of the ones we've explored have been Cleeve Hill, Selsley Common, Clifton Suspension Bridge, Nibley, Coaley Peak.

Go to a Comedy Show: 

In my 27 years, I've been in one long term romantic relationship. Aside from those 2 and a half years, I've taken on the role of the single friend amongst the couples. I'm the one who likes to shout that she doesn't need a man. For someone with an obsession with love, I've been pretty cynical about it, with my feet firmly planted in the ground of I'm not going to be sad about being single, and I'd rather be alone than with somebody because I'm lonely. In other words, my attitude completely took dating off the cards. I didn't want to be somebody who relied on a relationship for happiness. I guess I didn't feel that spending the majority of my life single was evidence enough to prove I'm not reliant on relationship hopping. The thought of romance left a bitter taste in my mouth, and for someone who reads a lot of romance novels, and watches endless romcoms, I wouldn't allow for my own love stories.

I'd written a narrative for myself which ultimately left me alone because I somehow got the impression there's was a weakness in wanting to spend your life with another person. And this rule I made up, applied to nobody other than myself. I didn't think badly of friends in relationships, although occasionally I might feel a little jealous pop-up. I didn't judge people based on their partner and they didn't lose their personality or become half of a person when they were coupled up.


Something has switched in my mind recently; I realised the way I've been looking at love is ensuring I'm alone through fear. A fear that dating will impact who I am, that I'll become weakened if I'm open to feeling.

It's time I go back, erase some of what I decided, and brave being open to romance. Nobody actually wants to go to bed alone, and people seem to glow when they fall in love. I miss the childlike butterflies of first kisses and the possibilities of where another person can take you.

When two people are in love, they don't take from each other, they compliment each other, enhance their lives.

I might not find the love of my life anytime soon, but I think it's time I drew in my claws and realised there's no weakness in wanting more, in wanting somebody. And if it all goes to shit, maybe I'll end up with some funny date anecdotes along the way.

I don't think lesser of people who are in love. Relationships are hard, it takes growth, self-awareness and compromise to keep them afloat. Those are qualities to be admired rather than afraid of.





I read this poem, and I haven't stopped wondering what it must feel like, to know, to have that security, that the one person you want to see, no matter what, who will be there when you get home.

I guess I wouldn't say no to that.

I'm learning that craving intimacy doesn't make me weak. It makes me human.


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With Valentine's day yesterday, I found myself reflecting on love. Valentine's day is one for couples. There are those who throw Galentines or anti-valentines day events, but all and all it aimed those in a relationship, those in love with each other. Single people don't tend to get a look in.

But why? It's about love. Just because I'm not in a romantic relationship, that doesn't mean I don't love. It doesn't I'm not familiar with the feeling of butterflies, and there isn't magic in my average day. Being out of a romantic relationship should not reflect that love is lacking for me because it isn't. 

I love as often, and deeply as anybody else does, despite my lack of a partner. Like those couples buying each other cards and planning their date nights, I deserve to celebrate the things I love, no matter how big or small.

So here are some things I really love:

1) Laughing until my stomach hurts

2) Capturing moments through the lens of a camera

3) Gilmore Girls

4) 500 Days of Summer

5) Harry Styles

6) Painting. Looking at a picture full of colour which I've created, and knowing that page started blank. The therapeutic feeling of mixing colours and making marks.
7) Reading in bed on a Sunday morning

8) Cups of tea

9) Reading poetry aloud, putting words in the air

10) Realising I've made a friend

11) Remembering I'm brave enough to attend events alone

12) Lattes and poetry writing

13) Natural pretty lighting that enhances everything

14) Sunsets

15) Watching a cheesy movie for the first time

16) Falling in love with the character in a book

17) Walking through nature with my friends

18) Receiving cards in the post, paper reminders that I'm loved.

Maybe it seems a little sad, that there's not a person who made the list. Sure, there's not other half me of me, but I'm whole without it. There is so much more to love in life, and my life is full of a lot of love, despite my single relationship status.

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The majority of my life I have been single. With just one serious relationship under my belt, which edged on just under three years of my existence.

I've spent a lot more time out of a relationship than in one, and it seems I've been through every possible phase of being single. I've felt unlovable and inadequate, left out and sick of third wheeling. I have been in unrequited love. I've found myself fancying every almost every new person which caught my eye, and I've tried to force chemistry when I was uninterest. I have desired something casual and prayed to the gods of fate that I'd fall in love at first sight. And then there's where I am at today, which feels like something more alien than all of the hurt and desperation. I am content with my independence.

I used to think, having a relationship would complete me. I felt envious of friends who had boyfriends to go home to, and a sharp ping of loneliness offered a regular reminder, I was 'unloved'.

To fall madly in love, get married and have a family was always something I thought was supposed to happen, it was predetermined. By the 26  I expected to be further ahead with this great plan, but more than that, assumed that would be a priority of mine. It is not, it almost feels irrelevant.

If I fall into a deep love which is return, that would be wonderful, yet if I don't my life will still be wonderful just in a different way. Not falling in love, or having a relationship won't take away from the person I am, and the things I will do.

I got asked on a date recently, by somebody I like, but it wasn't until I typed out my reply, I realised, I really am not looking for anything serious right now. For once in my life, I am finding living as I am, more important than searching for love.

There's this idea, that when we get to a certain age, around the ages I am at now, it's the time to settle down with a partner. If we're not in that place we are often painted in the light of sadness and considered lacking. We desperately swipe until our finger can manage no more because heck time is running out, right? But if I am happy now as things are, why do I need to add a relationship to the mix? Love is wonderful but chasing the idea of it, isn't so much. There also something completely freeing about not having to spend time mindless scrolling passed singles on tinder and endure the cringe-worthy messages.

There's something freeing in thinking, right now, I'm my only priority. I like that I only have to really worry about myself. My problems and my joys are mine alone. I am at a point in my life, where my main concern is my career or lack of. I've got a life to build, and I'd quite like to know I did it by myself.

It's nice to be selfish. I would like children one day (whole other topic that), and with that in mind, this is the only time I have to be selfish. I like that if I decide to move cities, I haven't got a whole other life to consider, and I can read before bed until whatever time I please (let's be honest, it will be no later than 10pm but it's nice to have options). I like the space my thoughts have, and I actually enjoy spending time by myself.  All of my stuff is my stuff, I don't have to make room for anyone else, or share the moisturiser I splashed out on.

When I was in a relationship, I got too comfortable leaning on somebody else. It's good to just stand up myself. It's good to feel worthy as an individual, and not to be thought of as one of two. Half the package.

Of course, I get lonely, everybody does. Sometimes, I think it would be nice to have someone, but that's a wave which leaves as quick as it arrives. I've been close to people in search of a cure for loneliness before, and that is not a tone I want to set for my relationship with anyone, including myself. I'd rather ride the waves of lonely if that means a few tears and self-doubt than have someone replaceable to fill a hole.

Now, I know some relationships are wonderful, but for me, right now, there's joy in concentrating on me, and me alone.

I like that I'm the most important person in my life right now.
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I've recently entered a familiar realm of sadness, and while I think it's important to ride it out, allow myself to feel. I also think it's just as important to control it before it spiralling. So here are some little things I'm doing to ensure my sadness is shortlived.

1) Reaching out to friends: I've recognised I've been feeling a sense of loneliness and isolation, so rather than dwell on that, and feeding my paranoia, by mentally listing all the reason I could believe that my friends don't actually like me and are attempting to ghost me, I'm simply texting to ask if they want to hang out.

2) Unfollowing: I'm terrible when it comes to following. I see a picture I like, or one tweet I relate to and immediately hit that follow button. I guess because there's no limit on who you can follow. However recently, I was on a friends twitter and noticed she only follow 80 odd people, and I thought to myself with envy "her twitter must be a nice place to be", and then I realised I follow thousands of people which make my social media feeds just as loud as my brain. So not to be that dick who unfollows but I'm going to be doing some unfollowing, for my own sake.

3) Facemask - My once completely clear skin which would cause me to brag how I never get spots, is cluttered with angry blemishes. I think stress has caused my skin to have a bad time. Rather than dwell on the fact my skin isn't looking great, I'm taking it as an excuse to do some facemask, give it that extra bit of love it's looking for.

4) Eating Healthy - The temptation to binge when I'm feeling down is high, but I'm trying my best to shake my head no to the overload of snack that I want and eat well because it just makes me feel a little nicer

5) Exercise - I mean, I'm yet to put this one into practice if I'm completely honest, but I'm trying my best to incorporate exercise into my life again because I know what good things it does for the mind. I want to try out Yoga, considering I've never met someone less flexible than me, it could be interesting.

6) Meditate - As well as moving your body, I think it's just important to be still, and alone with your thoughts. I'm going to get back into meditating, if you've been reading my blog a while, you'll know used to be obsessed with the Headspace apps, it's time to start using it again.

7) Delete the social media app which I mindlessly scroll on - I recently deleted my Facebook app from my phone, I don't miss it, and I don't waste time scrolling, or meeting with the devil of comparison. Snapchat will be going next.

8) Clean - It's not only therapeutic, but it creates a more inviting environment. I was having a terrible day yesterday, I walked into my bedroom, and was reminded I changed my bedding earlier that day and just one thing was slightly nice, and sometimes the smallest things, really count. I know clean bedding's not going to change the world, but it makes it the tiniest bit brighter.

9) Tweet less, blog more - I find it far too easy to tweet out a few words which poorly describe how I'm feeling which might not always come across how I intend and can make space feel quite negative. I'm going to try to take to blogging more when I've got something to say, so that I can talk about how I'm feeling in a longer form, that way I can hopefully understand it, and explain it better.

10) Write in my Diary - I'm trying to get back into the habit of writing down my thoughts each day, taking the time to explore my thoughts and pour my heart out into words on a page, just for me. I find this helps understand how I'm feeling, and gain a sense of control over it, plus it encourages me to practise my writing for no one other than myself.

Photography: Madeleine Grace

Outfit Details
Dress: ASOS 
Jacket:  H&M (old, similar linked)
Shoes: DMs (similar)
Bag: Zara (old, similar linked)
Lipstick: Chanel Rouge Allure Velvet in 37 L'Exubérante



I hope you found this post useful, I'd love to hear your thoughts!


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I recently wrote this post, very reluctantly published it - I almost deleted all, but I held my breath published it, and then closed the tab pretending I never did. I can't quite put my finger on why I felt so on edge about hitting that publish button. It was personal, yes, but for somebody who carelessly published a post simply titled 'Sex' a few months back, that clearly is not an issue for me. It was about one specific person, yes, but it wouldn't hurt him, nor would he read it. I didn't want to publish it, because although I was having a bit of an "I need to be treated better by the guys I like" "I deserve all the effort" moment, both of which are true, I was also being, a bit of an asshole.


You can go ahead and read this post, or if it's a little long - I'll summarise, the post was a guy I liked, who was very on and off with me, the post was about how I deserve better, which of course, is true, I deserve the very best - nonetheless, I think there was something quite selfish in my thought process.


I was watching (500) Days of Summer when I had a bit of an epiphany. If you haven't watched that film you need to. To give you an insight into the movie - this is how the narrator opens:


Tom falls for Summer before he even really gets to know her, she tells him from the start she doesn't believe in love and wants casual. He then tries his hardest to get her back when he loses her. Although, technically he never had her. Yes, they dated, yes they had sex, but she was never his girlfriend.

I watched this film and felt like I could really relate to Tom Hansen. I am Tom Hansen. I believe in love, I believe in fate and I thought I'd found it. The other person just didn't agree with me - like Tom and Summer, and then, like a tonne of bricks, it hit me.

Tom Hansen is a dick.

He's selfish. Summer never wanted him. I mean casually yes, but for nothing more, and she did nothing to lead him to believe otherwise. Tom confronts her about the situation, he tells her:

"This is not how you treat your friend! Kissing in the copy room? Holding hands in IKEA? Shower sex? Come on! Friends my balls!"

Previously I would have applauded Tom for this (I reblogged it so many times back in my Tumblr days), however, relationships are not black and white. They should be, but there's not. Especially as a young adult, lines are slightly more blurred. I do believe if someone wants to be with you nothing will stop them. But there are those in-between relationships, where there's no future, but you can't be friends, you're more than that because you're attracted to each other in a romantic/sexual sense. And sometimes, you're not quite ready to cut them out of your life. Casual relationship are pretty common, a lot of people have friends with benefits, or have friends that are slightly more, or that person that with added vodka, you call, and kiss, and decide you'll be together forever and ignore the next morning. It's not as simple as you are single, or you are not.

So Tom is right that is not how you treat your friends, but just because you're not friends, but it does also not mean you're in a relationship when you're the only person who wants that. Sometimes it's difficult to find a label, and I think the main reason a lot of people want the label, is through insecurity of not knowing where they stand, but that being said, if you are with the person who wants to be in a relationship you will very much from the start, know where you stand, there will be no questioning whether or not you are or will ever be together, because you're in a full on relationship.

It sucks to not have the security, but Tom knew the deal from the start. Summer told Tom she wanted casual - he wanted more, and that is not her fault. He's selfish, he thought of what he wanted throughout, never what she wanted. He's kept trying to win her over, which could be romanticised, but at the end of the day, people aren't prizes. You don't get one at the fair when you manage a decent throw.

The more I realised how much I disliked Tom character, the more I couldn't help but compare him to me, my situation. I have always known where I stand with this guy, I simply read into things how I wanted to. He's told me several times he never anything serious. Soberly, he never pretended to like me more than he did, and we all know drunk minds sure as hell do not speak drunk minds (seriously, the person who came up with that saying has issues). He's simply kissed me because we've never been just friends. But we've also never been anything more - so like Tom Hansen, I'd try to get him back, although never had him. He has never belonged to me. It doesn't matter how blue his eyes are, or that my heart melts a little when he  plays guitar, that sigh of relief I feel after seeing him for the first time in a while, or how wonderful his kisses are. All of these things, mean nothing as he doesn't want to be with me. He is not my property because I fancy him.

I think in wanting, I convinced myself to read into things how I wanted, which was wrongly. I  convinced myself he leads me on. He never pretended he wanted me. I just wanted him to.

It's time to stop being Tom Hansen, the world is full of enough selfish people already.

He kissed me, and my gut told me ‘I’m going to regret this tomorrow’ and I urgently pushed that thought to the back of my mind, because I wanted to enjoy my day with him, despite searching for my fate, I still didn't know when we’d get another.


He was a changed man... 



And that is what it took for me to understand, that if it’s fate, there is no need to go back to people. They would want to with you in the first place. They would have you. He would be my boyfriend right now, he would have been my boyfriend for nearly two years by now. 





My mind has been going at its own speed, trying to figure this out, so I wanted to note it down, to make sense of it. And I thought it deserves a place on my blog, just in case it reminded a reader of their self-worth. 

So, today is February 14th, better known as Valentine's day.
Personally, I love Valentines Day (as you can tell by this post, this post and this post).

Whether you're single or in a relationship, I think love is something we should celebrate.
However, this day can leave those single people feeling more alone than ever - if you're single, like me, I urge you to use the day to appreciate your own company, and reach out to friends and family.

Show yourself, or the people in your life a bit of love. After all, that's what today is all about.

Here's a list of little ways we can show ourselves a bit of love Valentines day (and any other day) because you can never have too much love.

• Buy yourself some flowers
• Dress up nice
• Have a nice relaxing bath, maybe go all out and stick a bath bomb in there
• If you don't have plans, why not binge-watch your favourite show on Netflix?
• Have a pamper evening - put on a face mask, paint your nails - anything which makes you feel good.
• Eat whatever you want. Don't worry about it - if you want to have three desserts, have three desserts (I'm hungry while writing this, I'd love three desserts right now!)
• Go outside Breath in the fresh air, maybe talk a walk and appreciate nature. Sometimes we don't realise how stuffy our surrounding feel until we're out of them.
• Tell people you love them. They feel good, you'll feel good - definitely something we should do more often. 
• Go for a run. Work-out. Although I hate doing it and usually avoid working out, I can't deny that I feel great afterwards, and it's definitely worth it for that feeling. I also like to see working out as a way to celebrate what our bodies can do, so go celebrate your body.
• Put your phone on aeroplane mode and spend time with the people you love without scrolling.
• Light some candles, switch on your fairy lights.
• Get your eyebrow threaded. You've been putting it off long enough and you'll feel like a new woman afterwards.
• Put on a nice, matching set of underwear. Even if nobody is going to see it.
• Create something. Get out your paints, paint a picture, or write a poem, whatever you want. Use your creative energy to make something.

This is a bit of a strange one to write, as it's somewhat personal, however as I was about to get out my notebook to jot down these thoughts, as even if it weren't on my blog I would record what's running through my mind at the moment anyway as that's how I tend to deal with my emotions, by writing about them - however I realised somebody might be able to relate, so I decided it was worth a blog post.

So I am 24 and I have been single for quite a while now, which isn't really something which bothers me, I like to be independent and to spend my time concentrating on myself - some may say I'm selfish (but at least I can admit it, eh?)

However, this hasn't always been the case. When I was growing up I was quite needy. I almost constantly found myself having crushes, and fancying people. I'm not going to lie, I used to get a bit obsessive about them and convince myself I was in love (I'm surely not the only one who's done that?) - Clearly, none of these crushes worked out as at the time I would have endlessly imagined.

I always thought having a crush is something I would grow out of as I grew up. I guess I also assumed I'd be in a stable long term relationship as I entered adult life (Have to admit I still find myself laughing a bit each time I refer to myself as an adult!) - so by now I would have thought crushes would be a thing of distant history, yet I did also think I'd be engaged living in the house I bought with my handsome financé  discussing the perfect time to start trying for our first born (there are also a lot of cats, dogs and a large garden in the image), so you might just say I am naive, and grew up to be somewhat romantic - however I do like to think that's changed. I currently think being alone has been really healthy for me, and my self-awareness and independence have grown in a way they wouldn't if I were reliant on a partner.

Yet, still, I find myself now with a bit of a reoccurring crush. I feel stupid to even admit it. It's not something I've really discussed with my friends, however, I'm sure a few of them would be able to guess who it on without even thinking twice.

Dealing with romantic feelings towards another is a lot harder as an adult because you're much more self-aware, and relationships are a lot more real than they were when you were 15. That means disappointment strikes a lot harder when the person you're crushing on isn't feeling the same, or they're in a place where nothing can come of it. And then also there is the big question of what do I want from this?

As I said this is a reoccurring crush, I have definitely felt for this person before, and I think he may have felt for me before, yet still I have been let down before, but all for reasoning I understand. The person has always been very upfront with me, and I have always respected him, but that still does not cancel out that harsh disappointment I have felt (more than once) when in this situation previously.

It's a bit of a strange one because it's something I feel like I know very well, and hardly at all, which is pretty ridiculous, I know. However I've not exactly hung out with this person this much, yet I feel somewhat of a connection with him, and things feel unfinished which is why I think I keep finding myself in the same spot of feeling for him.

But what do you do about your crush at 24 years old? It still consumes your mind as much as your 14-year-old crushes do, yet you have more understanding of the little importance of a crush (most of the people I've felt for before now, never cross my mind anymore). I'm pretty sure I will never be in a relationship with this person (although at one point, not long after meeting him, I was convinced the opposite), so what to do? What can I do? I can only to some extent control my emotions, and to some extent, it is nice to have a crush - for a minute or so, then it sucks.

It's very frustrating wanting to constantly speak to someone, who may not want to speak back, and knowing where you stand, but still wanting to ask, just in case.

I'm setting myself up for the disappointment of something I'm not sure that I want.

What do you do when you find yourself having a crush? I almost forgot how consuming they are!
I know in the scheme of things, it really doesn't matter who I'm fancying right now, but still, it's playing on my mind.

Sorry, this post is a bit all over the place, it was just some thoughts I needed to get off my mind.

Am I the only adult with a crush?