Popular Posts

Recent Posts

Monday, 16 April 2018

When You're Uninspired.



Lately, I have been stuck in a creative rut. I have been feeling uninspired and in turn, demotivated as they tend to come hand in hand for me.You may have noticed I've been a lot quieter on my Instagram and Youtube, that has simply been because the ideas haven't been flowing and I haven't wanted to put out some half-assed content for the sake of posting. Anyway, I think my spark is coming back, so I thought I'd share how I lit that fire.






Vision Boarding

Something I'd been meaning to do since I read The Secret last year was to create a vision board, but I only recently got round to it. I hadn't planned to do this day, so I didn't have a magazine I bought especially, I just used what I had. I picked out the things my eyes lingered a little longer over. This is definitely something I'll do again (I cannot wait to get myself some house magazine and plan my future home)


Go out 

Go for a walk, see your friends, treat yourself to lunch. Anything that will get into a different space. Inspiration isn't going to come if you don't see anything new.



Reorganise your space 

Your surrounding matter. If your belonging has been in
 the same places or too long, they begin to feel a little
lifeless. Moving them around will give energy back to
them, and make things feel a little fresher.


Ignore it 

Stop thinking "I wish I felt inspired" and concentrate
on something else.



Exercise 

I personally like to do yoga when I need a little mind
refresh, concentrating on your body does great things
for your mind.


Do something else creative 

I like to either paint or crochet when I'm feeling
 uninspired in other areas. Doing something else which
 is creative keeps that energy alive. This is one of the
main points of Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert I took
away with me.


Find Content That Inspires You

When I feel lost in the world of blogging, I look to the creators I love to remind me why I started, not to copy their ideas, but to simply enjoy what they create. Knowing I enjoy the things others create makes me want to create for others to enjoy. 


I'd love to hear know how you find inspiration!
Love C x


Follow
Share:

Friday, 13 April 2018

Bedside Bits and Bobs.


I thought I'd show you the things which take prize position on my bedside table, from the beauty bits to the books. Despite it being such a small space I love to play around with styling my bedside table, doing my best to make it both as functional and as pretty as possible.



The Books


which is the book I'm currently reading, this will 
get swapped when I'm on to the next one. 

 I like to keep a poetry book nearby and at the moment 
I am very much in love with this one.

This one is pretty much there because it's pretty. 

Kate Spade Notebook which I use as a Gratitude Journal 




The Beauty Bits:


Neom Sleep Rollerball (from a set that's been
discontinued - similar set linked!)

Neom Sleep Pillow Spray (from a set that's
been discontinued - similar set linked!)






The Pretty Bits:


A String of Hearts Plant  (potted on the dresser next to bedside table)

Crystals - gotta keep those positive energies flowing, plus they look pretty










The 

The Functional Bits:







You may have noticed I'm clearly terrible at narrowing down photos, but more is less, right? I hope you enjoyed this sneak preview into my bedside table!


Follow
Share:

Monday, 9 April 2018

New Hair, New Habits.





On Friday I stepped into the hairdresser and asked to get most of my mop chopped off. I didn't feel slightly nervous as I watched long hair float to the ground or saw the scissor wave goodbye to my locks.

I wanted to feel brand new, and of course, a new hairstyle is the best way to do that. 


Despite the obvious fact all a haircut changes is your appearance, there's something about having a big hair change which feels like your entire world might in fact change, and you might just become that person you always dream of being. You know the one who wakes up at 6am, does yoga and still drinks cocktails with her friends who laugh endlessly at her jokes (I'm not even slightly funny so I have 0 chance of that).  She's mindful, successful, social, and has all the time in the world.

Realistically the only way to become this new person (minus the being hilarious part because I just not a capable of that) is to change my habits, not just my hair. So now I've got new hair, it's time to work on some new habits, to give myself every possible chance of becoming a version of myself which I admire. So, I'm going to work on implementing these habits.

- Regular Yoga - I've recently got into yoga, thank you lord for Yoga with Adrienne. I'm going to 30-day yoga challenge to really push myself. When  I'm feeling brave enough I'm also going to start going to a class.

- Mediation - I am a huge fan of meditation, but it's easy to get out of the habit of doing it. I want daily mediation to become second nature. I used the Headspace or Stop, Breathe and Think app FYI.

- Running - There was a time when I used to go for a run pretty regularly. Since breaking the habit I've struggled to pick it back up, the main reasons being I'm lazy and I'm unfit. Although I'm hyper-aware that needs to change, knowing it's something I'm going to be rubbish at for a while is off-putting. It's time to leave the excuse behind however and just run.

- Painting - I love painting, I'd say I probably feel most relaxed when I paint, however, it's something I've not done once this entire yet. It's a hobby which is easy to abandon when you get 'busy', however, it's something which makes me really joyful so it's time I made the time.

- Writing Poetry - I write a lot of short poems (I post them on my instragram and you can read some in this blogpost) which honestly I don't put much thought into, I just write down whatever comes out. I want to really start dedicating time to writing poetry and begin writing some longer pieces. I want to be able to call myself a poet without feeling like a fraud.

- Gratitude Journal - This is another habit with I tend to pick up and put back down. Life always feels a little nicer when I take the time to write down the things I'm grateful for and take a moment to reflect on my wonderful life.

- Journalling - I want to start writing more stuff for me.

- 1 Second a day - On my 26th birthday I downloaded the second a day app, with the plan to film one second every day until my 27th birthday.  However, I soon realised my life can't be pretty mediocre and I am forgetful. However, I want to start picking up my phone and filming that second each day to encourage me to find the beauty in the every day and make the most of my life.

- Line a day journal - I have one of those five-year line a day journals, which this year the content is looking pretty sparse on. I need to get back in the habit of writing that line each day.

- Eat Better - I'm trying to eat more good stuff and less bad stuff, simple.

- Make more time for friends, do cool things - Often I let my introvert personality type convince me that I'm better to stay home. I want to start putting more energy into my friendships and finding more cool things to do with my friends.

- Upload blogposts twice weekly - I've been doing weekly blog post for a couple of months now and although I feel the quality of my posts are better than when I tried a failed to do 3/4 posts a week, I also have found myself feeling a little lazier with blogging, leaving posts until the last minute because I've got an entire week to complete each post. I think writing two posts a week will give me a kick up the bum and still be sustainable (so look out every Monday and Fridays at 12am). Yes I know this one is going up a tad late, let's ignore that.

- Book Writing - One of my new years resolutions was to get the first draft of my book completely finished ready to start agent/publisher searching and although I've spent a bit of time on it, I've got a long way to go, I want to start getting into the habit of writing a little (or a lot) each day.

- Create Youtube Videos again - It might be obvious that I lost my motivation on my youtube channel for a while. However, I want to get those creative juice flowing and make more interesting content. I want to create more than just favourites video where I simply chat to the camera.

- Get up at 6am each day - I've set an alarm for 6am, every single day, weekends included. I'm definitely a morning person, I always feel the most motivated first thing and knowing I've given myself that extra time the morning makes me joyful, so I want early mornings to become a daily habit not just for the days the snooze button isn't calling my name.


So, I've given myself quite a list to work on. But I want to fully jump in with two feet on this. I'm trying to stop doing things half-assed, so with my full ass, I'm setting myself up for a challenge. I'm going to create a habit tracker in the bullet journal to keep on top of this, and hopefully, I'll feel brand new soon enough.

I'm still completely unsure whether I love or hate the new hair. But I am excited for the new me.


Outfit Details:


Jacket: H&M (old, similar linked)
Earring: ASOS (old, similar linked)


Follow
Share:

Monday, 2 April 2018

March Poetry.





______


I told you
with confidence,
'I'm far from affectionate'
Then I realised,
I want to drape myself over you
Like a throw smothering a bed.

______


We feel more real
than what I had imagined
My mind can fathom
That is this something
insignificant
or
 passing.

______


It's taking a
world
of willpower
to not prematurely
feel the dull weight of our
inevitable
goodbye.


______


Often I ask myself,
Am I smart
enough?
The answer,
always
Is a wild entanglement
of
Yes
and
No


______


There's something quite enchanting
about your
swirls of old
and new
Which dance together
Like my energy
dances for
you.

______


The was a field
of love
which got lost
in the translation
between
 us

______


Maybe the word crazy,
would roll from your tongue a lot less,
 If you started to treat
those who feel for you
with a little respect


______


I can't help but
indulge
in our taste of
bittersweet
despite the
stomach ache
I'm begging for
when you 
leave

______

My heart
Breaks
over everything
We could have been
and never
were

______


*  I regularly post snippets of my poetry on my Instagram, so if you want to see more, be sure to follow


Outfit Details

Dress: ASOS




Follow
Share:

Monday, 26 March 2018

The Over-Sharing Between my Silence.


If you've followed me for a while, you might have noticed some changes on here, Instagram, and in what I choose to share online. I now pride myself on sharing the personal, even the words which often don't make the journey from my brain to the tip of my tongue around those that I am closest to.

I've braved posting snippets of my poetry on my Instagram, and on this blog, I  often discuss my most intimate thoughts which otherwise might be hidden in the depth of my head.

Somewhere along the lines, I found myself choosing to give more, in order to feel like the most authentic version of myself. 



Yet still, sometimes, I wonder if I give too much of myself, online, and even in IRL. I wonder if I scare people off revealing by the inner working of my mind too soon. Do I make others feel uncomfortable with the thoughts that they don't need to hear? When I feel intense emotions, I struggle to keep them caged, sometimes they come out in poorly articulated fragments of word vomit that others struggle to get on board with.

I'm either quiet, or I'm up close and personal. There's no in-between with my communication.

I hate small talk, I'd rather tell you my deepest darkest secret than, discuss the recent snowfall. Why? Because although there's nothing to lose from silence filling weather chat and updates which neither party has no interest in, there's really nothing to gain either. It feels pointless and forced. I find the silences which others find uncomfortable much more inviting than a conversation I'm not invested in. 

I don't want to engage in small talk, I want my conversation to be sizable. I think there's beauty in showing vulnerability which you won't see if the conversation doesn't go beyond the expected"good thanks, you?".

The same goes for writing, I think the only way my reader will gain something, is if I'm willing to give something.

I'm one of those rare breeds of human that is comfortable with silence.  I often don't try to fill a silence because it slips my mind that it might be making the other person feel awkward, which sometimes leads to me looking incredibly rude (soz about that).

I'm all or nothing.

Do I say too much? Or not enough? Do I give too much to those undeserving?  Do I give too much to people that are leaving, to strangers on the internet and to those who simply do not care? There's something in giving the purest version of myself that I can find, which feels right for me.


I think I've scared away pretty much every person I've been romantically interested in because I can be a bit much. If people don't want that from me, it does not mean I am too much. Or not enough. It means they simply didn't want what I choose to give and that's okay. It's no reason for me to desire to shrink. To speak less or more.

I need to give to fully feel and I believe feelings are there to be felt, so I give.

Sometimes I give via words on a screen which contrast to my often quiet persona. Sometimes I give by letting a barrier down, by choosing to be fearless when I let someone new into my world.

When I invest in someone I fully invest. I want to tell them my 2am thoughts and sit in their silence drinking in their mannerisms.  I want to tell them every detail of my existence and the weight of each emotion I feel.


I want this all to feel authentic. From the relationships, I have, to the articles I write. Leaving pieces of my soul disguised in an entanglement of words and silences.

All of my favourite writers are the ones who share the personal, who make me feel less alone, who minds, and histories I have a closer insight into.  So expect me to continue over-sharing between silences. And on the note, I might start writing some diary entry posts soon.


I share the intricate details because it's real and anything less than real who be a mediocre version of me.



Outfit Details







Photography: Madeleiine Grace




Share:

Monday, 19 March 2018

On Accepting Temporary.



The security of our choices is something which fluctuates, some things we decide create a blanket of safety, other demands us to fight our way through the unknown. There have been decisions which I have made with left me feeling stable, wrapped comfort in what seemed permanent. Whether that being the security I felt a year into my only real relationship, or starting a new job that felt like 'the one'.  To my surprise, these things didn't last, although at the time they felt like forever things.

There are times in our life, where it is expected to feel more secure, more stable with where we are at. In our late 20, society seems to anticipate us walking up a career ladder, buying a home and planning our future families with the one we love. In contrast to our early 20's, it's expected we're at the uni stage, where it's no surprise if we're sleeping around and wasting money on a degree we have no intention of using. There's also the classic midlife crisis when we get sick of the stability.

At 26 years old, I firmly thought I'd have things figured out by now, however, I really don't.

I'm not going to go on too much about how my life is not what I expected it to be, there's only so many times I can bang on about that before it gets boring, and predictable (I'm sure you can find plenty of posts if you look through my archive).

But I do want to talk about how temporary everything feels.


I am not settled in the slightest. After having a lot of career based cries, I'm coming to accept that I might just have to have a few more bridge jobs. I can't become an author before I write a book, and my blog is not making money, and until it does, it cannot pay the bills. Ultimately, I want to write and I want to blog. Anything, before I get to my goal, is temporary.

It's very easy to let that grey cloud consume me. To feel left behind, lost and worthless, even envious as I watch my friends smashing it with their careers. But sometimes, it takes a journey to get where you need to go. No one gets to skip the work, so it's time I stop hoping that I'll wake one day, and my blog will be raking in the cash. I mean, I will wake up many days that it does, but what I'm saying is, it won't happen overnight (4 years down the line, you'd think I'd have grasped that by now), I need to stop feeling sad that I am not an overnight success.

So it's time to suck it up and do the bridge jobs.  If I work in retail for a bit will not take away from the big plans, and who knows maybe I'll meet some really great people, and learn a few valuable lessons.

Accepting that they are temporary, is what will make them bareable.


****

I met a guy recently I met a guy 8 years ago and recently he popped back up in my life. We drank coffee and caught up, and I struggled to concentrate on what he was saying to because all I could think about is how I want to kiss him, and how did I never notice how attractive he is?  We're in the same place and the same time, and for once the timing is not off. But it is running out. He's moving away.



I cannot get attached, and our situation is screaming casual at me.


I've been asked me what the point is. Surely, there's no point, if he's leaving, it can't be anything real. But I see the point. Why does it hold less value if it's temporary? No, he's never going be my boyfriend, but I kind of like him, and want to invest the small amount of time I able to, into spending it with him

Of course, I am more than aware, there is nothing romantic in expiry dates, and building something on with the rule 'do not fall in love'.


 Sometimes, it's really as simple as, I just want to have a nice time for a bit.

Why should I not spend time with someone that I want to spend time because it's temporary and uncategorised?

I am not looking to fall in love, I wrote about my contentment with being single in last weeks post here, with that in mind, why can't I just enjoy something for what it is? Even Especially if it is not for long.

He will leave, but the world will not end. Isn't something small, and part-time better than nothing at all?


Sometimes bad and good walk hand in hand. If you want the good, the bad may come too.
It's nice to have a taster of both worlds. As long as I step carefully something temporary will fit for now. I just can't wrap myself up in it and bathe.

Temporary happens, whether planned or not. Sometimes temporary is a necessary stepping stone, and some things aren't meant forever. Sometimes the briefest moment is ones worth having.


What's wrong with thinking of right now, rather than a future which is forever changing? 







Outfit Details:






















Something's clicked for me, since I've realised that temporary, is not that bad, it's freeing to embrace a forever changing world.




Follow
Share:
Blog Design Created by pipdig