Friday, 14 December 2018

Every Book I've Read (so far) in 2018.



 My friend recently asked me what books I've been reading, I had a complete mind blank, and couldn't tell her. However I have been jotting it down in my bullet journal each time finished a book, so I can tell you.  I thought all the bookworms out there might appreciate an overview of my 2018 reading.

So here is everything I've read (so far) during 2018:


Adult Fiction:

Call Me By Your Name by André Acimen.
A beautifully written romance set in 80s Italy.
You can read my thought on it here
Star Rating: 

Caraval by Stephanie Garber
This fantasy fiction is about a girl who dreams of going to Caraval, when she eventually does, she soon learns the game revolves around her and her family.
I talk more about this book in this blog post
Star Rating: 

Eleanor Oliphant is Complete Fine by Gail Honeyman
The story revolves around the life of Eleonor, who lives a very routine day to day life. She finds things change as she makes a new friend and it becomes clear that Eleonor has a very troubled past. This book lies somewhere between a romance novel and a psychological thriller.
I talk about this book more here
Star Rating: 

Always with Love by Giovanna Fletcher
This is the final book in Giovanna Fletchers 'Billy and Me' series. It's the story of the relationship between an ordinary girl who lives in a quiet village and a movie star.
Star rating: 

My Not So Perfect Life by Sophie Kinsella

My not so perfect life is a funny, and very relatable story about a girl named Katie, who makes out her life is perfect on social media, even when it seems to be falling apart.
Star Rating: 

Young Adult Fiction:

Turtles All The Way Down by John Green
This YA story is both a mystery and romance. 
Star rating: 


To All The Boys I Loved Before by Jenny Hann
The book which bought us the much loved Netflix film.
Star rating: 

P.S. I Still Love You by Jenny Hann
The sequel of To All The Boys I Loved Before.
Star rating: 

Always and Forever Lara Jean by Jenny Hann
The final in the To All The Boys I Loved Before series.
Star rating: 

The Start of Me and You by Emery Lord
This book begins after the death of Paige's first boyfriend, it's about her journey learning to enjoy being a teen again.
I talk more about this here
Star rating: 

When We Collided by Emery Lord 
This is a beautiful romance novel which discusses grief and mental health. It's written in two different perspectives.
Star rating: 

The Names They Gave Us by Emery Lord
Christian teen Lucy goes to be a counsellor at Summer camp after learning her mum is unwell. She makes new friends and learns life lessons.
Star rating: 

Short Stories, Poetry and Prose:

The Opposite of Loneliness by Marina Keegan:
The insightful short stories feature different characters and lives.
I talk about this book, in this video
Star Rating: 


She Must by Mad by Charly Cox.
Beautiful, relatable poetry and prose around the themes of love, mental health, body image and adulting.
I talk more about this here
Star Rating: 

Memoir:

Everything I know about love, by Dolly Alderton. 
Life lessons and journey of the journalist.
You can read my thoughts on it here
Star rating 

The F Word by Lily Pebbles
This book in a hybrid of genres, in a guide to modern female friendship with a memoir feel to it.
You can read more about my thoughts on this here
Star rating 

Reason to Stay Alive by Matt Haig
This inspiring book teaches you about mental health, whilst telling the writers story.
I talk about it more here
Star rating: 


Self Help, Career and Spiritual Teachings:

Higher Selfie by Jo Westwood and Lucy Sheridan.
A guide on how to make a spiritual life accessible in the modern day.
I talk about this book in this video
Star rating: 

The Anxiety Solution by Chloe Brotheridge
A guide on how to understand and manage anxiety.
Star Rating: 

Return to Love by Yoggi Kanna
A guide to inner peace and a spiritual life.
Star rating: 

You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero
This was a re-read. It's a best, most empowering, career/self-help book I've ever read.
Star rating: 

You Are A Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero
As the title might give away, this book is about how to manifest money into your life.
Star rating: 



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Monday, 10 December 2018

Some thoughts on instagram and why I'm engaging in more traditional media...


I have a love-hate relationship with Instagram. Although I enjoy the creative process, I find it comes with a lot of pressure. Follow counts on Instagram, seem more predominate than anywhere else, I guess mainly because have a large following in Instagram can be can money maker, and it seems brands are more and more interested in working with 'influencers' on Instagram posts, than they are in long-form content, such a blog posts and youtube videos, which logically, seemed to cut the workload down slight for the influencer, and who would say no to less work and more money?


I find Instagram tricky, because, my followers rarely grow on there, and I know people endlessly say follow counts don't matter, but when they are what stands between you and your dream job, they kind of do. I don't want a career built on Instagram, not for a second, but as a blogger and a writer, my Instagram following has become something that could give me a ticket into the career I want. It's frustrating. I've said similar things to this on Instagram itself before - so I won't bang on too much about it here, instead, I want to talk about where I think the future of the platform is heading.
                                                                                 

I read something recently about how with traditional media, you get the advert between the entertainment, but with Instagram influencers, the entertainment is the adverts, which is completely true, advertising has become more integrated with the entertainment. Or is this just the first time we're realising? Product placements on TV shows has always been a thing. Is it such a bad thing that people are trying to sell us stuff? If we enjoy the free content they're putting out there, I see no reason we should not have to see the occasional toothpaste advert which is simple enough to slid into the content which is already there.

It's odd that Instagram is a career for some people, and a hobby for others, as with blogging and youtube, and many creative careers. Most of us have Instagram, some of us have several accounts. We're addicted to doing what some people get paid for, for free. Although unpaid, we might not be putting so much pressure on the images, and captions, hiring photographers and planning out our grids, but we're still contributing to that platform, unpaid. It's a place where humans are ranked by follow counts. I don't think I've ever looked how many friends somebody has on Facebook, or been concerned by followers on twitter but on Instagram, I'm more likely to interact with an account with more followers, which is absolute bullshit. I know, from experience, your follow count can be low but that doesn't mean your content is not thought out and valuable.

Something which does bother me is the idea that the print industry will one day be replaced by online platforms such as Instagram.

Personally, I've found myself heading more towards traditional media more than ever recently. Instagram can feel a bit samey, and while I have the blogs which I love, it seems bloggers are choosing more and most to posts on the 'gram rather than their own website, which is completely understandable, as writing a blog post takes a lot more time, and probably get a lot less engagement.



But lazy Sunday mornings, when I lay in bed, scrolling through insta doesn't quite cut it, and I begin to feel sick of my phone. I've realised nothing brings me the joy of a magazine and a cup of tea on those lazy. There's something satisfying in flicking pages, and the articles often tend to be a mixture of my favourite writers and some new ones. Articles I never expected to find myself reading can impact my thoughts, change my day - which I'm sure could happen with an Instagram caption, but sometimes I want it to be an event, consuming media, and scrolling Instagram is more of a habit than an event, there's nothing about it which feels special. With Instagram, it feels like something I consume when I want the minutes to slip away from me, but reading a magazine feels like a way to embrace the time I've got, and really make the most of it. It's a way to indulge in the words of others and curated imagery.

There's a pressure to post on Instagram, to create content which adds to what everyone else is posting. It's nice to read a magazine and know I don't need to worry about my input.  On Instagram you expect everyone to be relatable, real, and when they've got abs and a  new home, your average joe doesn't feel quite average which can leave a feeling of inadequacy, at least with magazines, the models printed aren't supposed to be the girl next door, they're too far from me to compare.

Having said all this, I do love using Instagram, I'm not against adverts on there, if they're from somebody who's content I trust. and I think we're all smart enough by now to really, we don't need skinny teas.

I love that is something I can curate myself with who I choose to follow and I love that I have my own input in the space, but it's no replacement for the pleasure of carelessly flicking through the crisp pages of a magazine.


Jumpsuit: New Look - Lipstick: Marc Jacobs Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - i-D Magazine



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Friday, 7 December 2018

When We Collided by Emery Lord | When We Collided and The Start of Me and You Comparison.



I whizzed through this book so fast. It's the most mesmerised I've found myself by the characters and plot of a book in a while, so I had to write a full blog post, and with Christmas coming up, I thought now was the perfect time do it as this novel certainly fits in with my series of mini Christmas gift guides/reviews.

The YA novel switches between the perspectives of Vivi and Jonah, both of whom seem to have traumatic pasts they're in the process of both dealing with and avoiding completely.

The characters meet in a small coastal town where Jonah lives and Vivi is spending her summer.

Jonah is tired, whilst Vivi always seems full of energy, and a bit well full on. Although they seem completely different, I found both characters equally enchanting.

They both come with an intense backstory and a bit of mystery, which unfolds as the story progresses.

The pair meet when Jonah takes his younger sister to paint pottery where Vivi works - he's surprised he doesn't know her, as he's the townie in the small coastal town. The reader soon learns that this isn't Jonah's only sibling, he's one of 6 and has recently lost his Dad (this isn't too much of spoiler, that gets revealed pretty early on) Jonah's younger sister befriends Vivi, so she begins to spend time with his entire family, besides his mum. It Vivi seems like the light Jonah's family needed in the tough time, he's almost blissfully unaware she's going through her own problems.

Vivi is unpredictable, and Jonah is a sensible 17 year old, playing the grown-up, struggling to make it through the summer.

It becomes clear that each day Vivi throws a pill into the ocean and goes about her life. It becomes clear Vivi is running from a troubled past and isn't as carefree as her almost hippy persona gives off.


The book includes themes of mental health, grief, relationships, sex, acceptance family dynamics and so much more. There's a lot packed into it, and it all entangled into the love story, which makes it feel so much more real.

Come to the end of the book, I found myself in floods of tears, both satisfied and heartbroken.



When We Collided and The Start of Me and You Comparison

I discovered the author Emery Lord, from reading her novel 'The Start of Me and You' so I wanted to compare the two.

To give some overview of the Start of Me and You, it is once again, a Young Adult Romantic fiction. A story which begins 6 months after Paige's fairly new boyfriend dies in a drowning accident. Paige wants to feel like a teen again, so write of list of things she wants to achieve, from dating to swimming. The book sees her friendship group grow, as she finds herself again, and as ever, fall in love. There are some unexpected bits in the book, but as a whole, I found it slightly more predictable.

Despite beginning with the theme of death, I found this book felt much more lighthearted. I liked the characters but didn't feel quite so captured by their quirks as I was with the characters in When We Collided.

However, I find the author Emery Lord writing, such a pleasure to read, it's both simple and poetic at the same time, and the worlds she creates feel real.

I would recommend both if you're into YA fiction.  When we collided definitely felt more pack full, but both story were both interesting, and well written!


I will definitely be reading more by Emery Lord. Have you read any of her writing? I'd love to know what you thought!

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Monday, 3 December 2018

Dear Diary,




Something I've been thinking about a lot is Youtube. I stopped making videos, it was time-consuming and it was another platform I felt invisible on, and I got sick of feeling invisible. It's easier to not exist somewhere, that to exist there unseen.  The thing with subscriber counts is that everyone starts somewhere, but with so many 'big' account, you can feel ridiculous promoting something before it has the following, which leads create content for an account that's unseen and the longer you create content for a small account, the smaller that account seems, and the more you feel stupid promoting it. You have to be brave to put on there that you believe in something when the numbers are telling you, that you're almost completely alone in that. I also fell out of love with watching Youtube.

The issue is when you put so much love into something, and nobody seemed to see it, no matter how therapeutic you find the lengthy process of editing videos, it's disheartening.

But recently, I've found myself intrigued by it again, wanting to document my life. It feels like there a new wave of content Youtube, which is more grown up, and I want to find my place there.

It's not that I want to be a typical Youtuber, because that's a pipedream, and there are so many other things I want to do. It definitely takes much more work than is acknowledged, but I want to use my creativity on the platform to experiment and create.

I've found myself thinking about the filmmaking industry lately, how it intrigues me, and the closest way I can think to get to that, with where I am at, it practising filming and editing video and sharing where I can, which is on Youtube.

I feel as though I've gone in a full circle with it. At the start of the year, I claimed I wanted to take youtube more seriously, and yet the numbers seemed to disagree with me. I was putting in a lot of work, with a very little payoff, I decided I'd be better spending my time elsewhere.

Now, a few months later, I've lost a small handful, of my already small handful of subscribers, but I'm ready to enter that world again, maybe this time do more than peak around the corner.

At the start of the year, I promised I'd Vlogmas time year, and as you read this, we're a few days into it. It going to mean working hard, completely unsure whether anyone will watch the videos, but I want to do it for me, to know that I can because I made a promise to myself.

I have a good feeling about this. It feels like it's for the right reasons this time.

If you want to make this journey a little less lonely for me, you can always subscribe to my channel and check out my videos!



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Friday, 30 November 2018

November Round Up.




What I've been up to:

Firework displays and hot chocolate drinking

Autumn walks

Celebrating my 27th Birthday, which included lunch at the Giggling Squid with my Mum, and dinner and drinks with my friends.

Celebrating my friend Matts birthday, Jess' birthday and my brother Will's birthday - November is a busy month for me in the birthday department, I've found myself going for lots of meals and to the cinema this month. 

Re-evaluating, figuring out what I want, and how to get there.


Reading

Magazines/Online Articles

Vogue: What Company gets right about being single when everyone else is married by Sophie Heawood

Manrepeller: Vintage Shopping Could Make Your Whole Dang Outfit by Pandora Sykes

ID Magazine: Harry Styles in conversation with Timothée Chalamet

The Telegraph: Joe Sugg Strictly Diary honestly the part about his head looking like a conker was that got me reading this...

The Sunday Times: The Apps That Can Replace a Relationship by Dolly Alderton

Glamour Magazine: Soft Boy is the new F*ck Boy by Samantha McMeekin

Red December 2018 issue: A Very Schhmaltzy Christmas by Dolly Alderton

Red December 2018 issue: The Gift of the Grudge by Sophie Hannah

Red December 2018 issue: Scarlett Curtis on Christmas Traditions

Blogs

Tanya Burr: A Recent Shoot in Peckham this one is more imagery than words, but I kind of love it.

Steve Booker: Highs and Lows

What Olivia Did: Five Skincare Favourites

Brittany Bathgate: Autumn Exploration

The Anna Edit: How to Budget for the Christmas Season



Books

- When We Collided by Emery Lord:  I'm not going to say too much about this one, because I want to write a full blog post on it, I'm just going to say, I loved everything about these characters and their stories. Keep an eye out for the full review which will go live next Friday.

- Playing Big by Tara Mohr: It's taken me a while to get through it, I know. I find this book brilliant with an edge, of boring, however, I do think there's a lot I can learn from it.



Watching

Netflix
Riverdale
The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
Gilmore Girls

Youtube
Zoella Vlogs
Jo and Dianne react to dances

Listening:

Podcasts
The Fringe of It
Nobody Panic on How To Be More Organised
Feminist Don't Wear Pink with Alison Sudol
CTRL ALT DELETE with Pandora Sykes

Music
LM5
Ariana Grande
One Direction (lol going old school)


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Monday, 26 November 2018

Fear and thoughts.




I find motivation a weird one. For me, it ebbs and flows. I can wake up some days I feel like I can take over the world, and other days I can barely pull myself out of bed. 


Recently, I’ve been particularly unmotivated and taken habit in abandoning crossing off my to-do list and traded it in for seeing how much Netflix I can watch. It’s only now, I realise why. I, almost completely, gave up on myself. 

My goals felt so far from reach, that I stopped trying, I avoided admitting this by writing a well-intentioned to do list, knowing I’d only cross off pointless things I added to the list to keep some of the guilt at bay. Everything of substance was soon forgotten, as I spent my afternoon in bed because the work I need to put to achieve the things I want does not have an immediate payoff. It can feel as though, it's all for nothing.

Why did I let all my motivation casually wander out of my life? Because I was scared. Because it seemed so unlikely that I'd ever become the person that I want to be, so it was easier to be as far from the person as possible. 

Failing is scary, and not failing, is even more so, because then what? Success can be underwhelming after working so hard, what if it doesn't live up to what I want it to be?

The book Playing Big by Tara Mohr talks about two types of fears:

Pachad is the over-reactive irrational fear that stems from worries of what could happen, worst-case scenarios we imagine. 
The other type of fear it talks about is Yirah which has three different meanings: 1) It is the feeling that overcomes us when we inhabit a larger space than we're used to. 2) The feeling we experience when we suddenly come into possession of considerably more energy than we had before. 3) It is what we feel in the presence of the divine. 

It was only on reading this I realised, I've stopped believing in myself because I'm afraid of taking up more space, of the new energy which success will bring to me. The fear I've been running from, winning a game of hid and seek against by snuggling beneath my duvet at 2pm on a Thursday after, is a good thing. I should be greeting it with open arms. 


I didn’t blog last week, because I didn’t want to. The realisation that I'm simply scared, wasn't the kick up the bum I needed. I still didn't feel like taking physical action to make thing happen. So, instead, I’ve been reevaluating. Figuring out what I actually want, and how to work towards that.

I realised, what I always knew: 
I want to write. For myself, for magazines, books, fiction, non-fiction. I have a love affair with words, that I'm not ready to end yet.
I want to blog. This website is my space, and I want to take advantage of that, I want more people to read it, I want to take up more space, which is, of course, scary.
and I want to Youtube, because I enjoy the process of editing videos, creating something visual, and having candid chats with a camera. I'm intrigued by filmmaking even at it's more basic levels. Again, here I want to take up more space, I want my time and effort to be of value to others, not just me. 

There are all things I've done for years, spent my free time working on things, for joy. That joy seemed to dissipate somewhere along the lines recently, I think because I became aware I wanted to take up more space in these areas, it felt I was asking too much by wanting to earn a living from my hobbies. They are things I do for joy, yet so many others who get paid to these this. My chill time is somebody else 9-5, so why the hell can't it be mine?

Rhetorical or not, I've got the answer to that question. I don't believe in myself when I should. If I don't no one else will. I got scared and stopped putting the work it. 

So here is me, waving goodbye, or saying hello to that fear, facing it head-on, and saying, I'm going keep at this and one day this will be my day job.

To freshen things up a little, I've created a new, blog specific Instagram - I felt like I wanted a more fashion based account, and something felt right about starting from 0, so you can find that @chloeharrietsblog. As I said pre-youtube break, I am going to vlogmas this year so it will be great if I feel like people are watching, you can find my channel here.

I'm going to promote my work more, and putting my all into blogging again. 

Sometimes I'm going to be afraid, but fear can be fuel.


Outfit Details:

Coat (similar) - Hat (similar) - Trousers - Shoes

photography: madeleiinegraceblogs
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Friday, 16 November 2018

6 Career Books.




I thought I'd start (another) new blog series, this one on the books, as I am a massive bookworm. where I want to discuss several books for different genres in each post, including the ones I've loved, what I'm currently reading and those on my to-read list.


So today I wanted to jump right in with career books. I've noticed especially over the last year or so, a lot of stigma surrounding self-help career books is beginning to dissipate, and rightly so. Now we proudly show off the career books they're reading on Instagram and the genre seems more popular than ever, which personally, I'm over the moon about because I'm always looking to read something which can help with self-improvement. I think it's important to always try to better yourself, and career books seem the perfect way to do so.


Currently Reading:

Playing Big by Tara Mohr
I heard endless good things about this book, so could help but pick it up. I'm a little shy of 100 pages in, I'm finding there are some points in the book I love, and there's a lot to learn from it. However, certain parts feel too dragged out, which make them slightly boring and repetitive. Having said that, what the book teaches I feel could be life-changing.  It explains how to stop fear holding you back, and how to 'play big' in whatever way is right for you.

Previously Read:

You are a Badass by Jen Sincero 
I've read this book twice, and I think it's probably the best ' self-help' style book I've ever read. It is full of advice and wisdom on how to live to your full potential. I know any description I give it, will not do it any justice, so I'm just going to advise you to give it a read.  'You are a badass' (along with Big Magic) got a mention in this blog post.


#Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso
#Girlboss serve as both a memoir and a career book at the same time, it is, of course, the story of how Sophia Amoruso built Nasty Gal essential from nothing. Alongside that it offers to the point advice for things like writing a CV, interviewing for jobs, and insight on how to become a successful #girlboss. It's both funny and informative and Sophia style of writing is very relatable, as is she. This book makes you feel like you can do anything. I was sceptical when I first began reading, as it was after Nasty Gal shut down, but despite that it's still great, I learnt a lot and considering Sophia has just continued building the GirlBoss empire after losing Nasty Gal I think it goes to show she is a #Girlboss and we could probably all learn plenty from her (and I was also gutted when they didn't continue the Netflix series after season one because I kind of loved it.)


Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert 
Big Magic is a book about living creatively. It personifies creativity, talking about how it finds you if you are open to it, and how creativity moves between people if you ignore it for too long. I'd never heard creativity described like this before, but on reading this something clicked, it's the only definition of creativity which I have found myself nodding along to. There's a lot of knowledge in this, but I think you need to be open-minded to use that knowledge to its full potential. If you're a creative person, this book is eyeopening and wonderful. Here's a blog post I previously wrote about the things Big Magic taught me.


Dipping in and out of:

The Little Black Book by Otegha Uwagba
This pocket-sized book is full of practical advice when it comes to careers and living successfully. From budgeting and knowing your worth. It's written in small sections which makes it easy to pick up and put back down.


To read:

The Multi-Hyphen Method by Emma Gannon 
I have had a copy of The Multi-Hyphen Method since it came out, and somehow still haven't got around to reading more than the first chapter, mainly because I want to make sure I give it my full attention when I read it, rather than reading it whilst I've got other books on the go. I love Emma's writing and I most certainly see myself as a multihyphenate so I am excited to dive into it.




Please let me know any of your career book recommendations, and your thoughts on any of these if you've given them a read!


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Monday, 12 November 2018

Gift Idea and Review 1: The Kevyn Aucion Prismagic Highlighting Trio.

  

With Christmas coming up, I wanted to do a few more post reviewing products which I think would make great gifts, from beauty to books and everything in between. These will all be things I own and have used and enjoyed myself so the series will create a 'sort of' detailed gift guides for the 20 something female.

First up we have the Kevyn Aucoin Prismagic Highlighting Trio. I got this for my birthday and was chuffed for it. It makes a great gift as it's luxury and a little unusual. It's not necessarily something you'd buy for yourself with the £36 price tag for three shades but if you really want to treat someone I think this highlighting trio is pretty special.

At first glance, the shade all look a sort of off-white colour with some glitter running through, however, once you apply them to the skin, the different colours show through, and, they all have an iridescent, glitter finish, which is just stunning.

The three shades are:

Aura: a beautiful lavender blue shade
Illusion: a sparkling peach shade
Enchanted: a green with a golden edge to it


I'll admit the blue and green shades are both a little out there for highlighters, despite however beautiful a glowy they are, I'm not particularly drawn to brushing these along my cheekbones, however, they make for stunning eyeshadows.

The formula is ever so slightly crumbly, however, with how I use the shades it doesn't seem too much of an issue. They still blend well and look gorgeous on the skin. Once applied on a brush, it is difficult to see how much product you've got on there, so it takes a little guesswork, but as shades apply quite subtly, only really standing out when you hit the light, too much product doesn't seem an issue. The shadows are buildable, so there is always the option of adding more.

The colours are both subtle and stand out at the same time. They apply quite finely, adding a hint of colour and a stunning glittery glow to the skin, but despite the vibrant shades, they are not too over-powering, they are simply a little more interesting than your average pink/gold toned highlighter.

The packaging is beautiful and luxurious. There is a little swatch of each colour next to the shades to give some idea of what they look like on the skin and there is also a mirror inside the compact. It's small enough to slip into a handbag although the gold reflective outside is just beginning for fingerprints, it looks beautiful and classy nonetheless.





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Friday, 9 November 2018

27 things I've learned in 27 years.


Earlier this week, I turned 27, so today today, I thought I'd share somethings I've learnt along the way.

1) Nothing clears the mind, quite like a walk in the woods with friends.

2) You are the most important person in your life. I am the most important person in my own life. However selfish it might seem, always put yourself first.

3) Friendships change, and sometimes you need to let go of them, not everything needs to last forever

4) Not everyone will always agree with you and that really doesn't matter. Not everyone will like you, and that really doesn't matter either.

5) Kindness is always more important than it seems.

6) What you wear, who you spend your time with and the media you consume will affect how you feel.

7) Just because something looks good on paper, it doesn't mean it will be that way in reality, that goes for people, jobs and the lives of others as they're portrayed on social media.

8) If someone ghosts you, let them. There's no need to try to start a new conversation after they didn't reply. There no need to dramatically ask them what you've done wrong (nothing), and don't bother to call them out on it, you're better off using your energy elsewhere

9) The feelings can't be helped, but how you react to those feeling can be.

10) Never respond when you're angry.

11) You will make mistakes, but at some point, you've got to forgive yourself. Reliving things in your head, will not change the past.

12) You can survive without the relationship you feel dependent on.

13) It's always worth making your bedroom a nice place to be. Light candles. Make your bed every morning. Put your washing away.

14) Always pee before you paint your nails

15) Give yourself a little longer than you think you need in the morning.

16) Mediation makes a huge difference

17) At some point exercise stops being like year 10 PE, you're better off to learn that sooner rather than later.

18) If you're uninspired, take a break. You're probably not reading enough, pick up a book.

19) Love doesn't matter as much as the romcoms make out.

20) Friendships require maintenance. You need to check in with your friends, be the one to organise meeting up. Send them flowers and let them know you appreciate them.

21) Spontaneous nights out are usually the best ones.

22) You've got to give yourself a permission slip - It's down to you, to let yourself do the things you want to, and be the person you want to be, nobody else. No one else will give you a green light to go for what you want, it's all on you.

23) No one knows you, like you, listen to your intuition over other people

24) No feeling lasts forever.

25) Feminist are not 'hairy angry women'. They are strong, important men and women who want to make the world better for everyone.

26) What others choose to do with their body is nothing to do with anyone else. Whether somebody wants to change their gender, not shaving or say goodbye to make up. It only becomes your business when it's your body and your mind.

27) You're allowed to like what you like and want what you want.

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Outfit Details: 


Leopard Coat (Similar)  - Jumper (similar) - Jeans (similar) - Shoes - Doctor Martens - Headscarf (similar)

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Wednesday, 7 November 2018

5 Memories from 26.



Above, is a photo which was taken on my 26th birthday, and now, very soon I am turning 27.



Being 26, was kind of a big deal for me. I have a thing for the number 26, with no logical other than, I really like it, so, on turning 26 years old, I had big plans for the year, it was going to be the best year of my life. Well, I'm not sure that's completely true to say, but I feel like it's carried some good memories, 5 of my favourite memories from this past year.



1) Birthday Celebrations 


26 began with a bang, I made an effort to really celebrate my birthday, going for a day out with my family and both meal and night out with my friends, indulging on all the special birthday feelings. Blog post on that here.




2)Vienna 


My friend Matt and I went for a weekend away in Vienna. Over those few days, I became very fond of the city. It's strange how a place can start to feel so familiar and comforting in such a short amount of time. By far, my favourites parts of it were the National Library and the incredible greenhouse which we just happened to stumble upon. Full blog post on the trip here.


4) A Summer of harbourside walks and aesthetically pleasing coffee shops with Kelsey 


Summer was full of happy memories for me. The weather was incredible and therefore myself and my friend Kelsey spent a lot of time wandering along the harbourside, drinking coffee and sharing secrets. I laughed so much, fancied pretty much every barista, and it was wonderful.




5) Portugal 


This year, I went on a beach holiday, something which I hadn't done for years. I forgot how calming it is sitting on the beach, with a good book, the happiness that comes with feeling the waves as you laugh with friends in the sea. Full blog post here.



5) A new start


 This memory is more recent, and I wanted to include it because it's pivotal to the rest of my life. This year, not so long ago, I left the job I'd work in for years because it wasn't on the career path I wanted to be on. So far it's been challenging, but that decision is something I know will change my life for the better.  More on that here.


Now bring on 27, I'm excited to see what you've got planned for me!


Love always,
C x



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Friday, 2 November 2018

Dear Diary,



My mum tried to, kindly, talk to me about the big 'what next'. She told me that I need to think about it. I haven't been able to stop crying since, because it's all I've been thinking about and still I don't have the answer.

Everything I want to do with my life takes the building, and it seems people in the career paths I want to be in, have been given different bricks to me. I'm not saying they didn't work for it, because I know they did. But what happens when the work doesn't seem to be paying off? When you're completely invisible, how do you make yourself seen? The work never seems to form anything tangible. Other people just don't seem to care about it, does that mean it's time to give up?

I don't want to spend the rest of my life, in a job I dislike, I want a career I'm proud of, one which I've built with my own two hands, but maybe I'm incapable of that.

Logically, I know they haven't, but I feel the people around me have waltzed into the right careers and I've barely taken a step forward since graduating if anything I've stepped backwards.

I turn 27 soon, and I don't have a job, which for someone who reads endless career books, is heartbreaking.

People keep telling me "loads of people have jobs they don't want" I know they do, but is it really such a bad thing that I want more than that for myself? Wanting to enjoy my life, is not too much to ask for, surely.

I guess there's nothing to do, but keep working, and hopefully, in the future, I'll have some more positive diary entries to share,

Love,
Chloe x


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Monday, 29 October 2018

October Round Up


October has been a quiet month for me. I've not really done all that much, but I have found myself watching a little too much Netflix so this monthly round-up could be a tad TV-heavy.

What I've been up to:


- Watching too much: Somehow this has been the month I've realised I actually love binge watching new things, it's probably a sign I've had too much time on my hands. I have discovered some great Netflix series though (more details on what in the watching section of this post).

- Moving Bedrooms - My sister recently moved out, so now her old bedroom has had a spruce up, I've moved my things across the corridor, into the bigger bedroom. I've spent a lot of time organising my belonging, trying my make my new space feel like mine.

- Going for dinner with my friend Jess: My friend Jess and I have been for dinner a couple of times this month to try out new menus and catch up, so I've eaten a lot of yummy food and had many lovely, and hilarious chats.

- Taking myself for coffee: It's been nice to get out of the house and type away while sipping a delicious latte. I'm always more productive in a coffee shop, so taking myself out for coffee has been a nice way to break up my days and ensure I'm getting the work done.

- Writing. Because that's what I do.

- A Spontaneous Night Out: Dancing in a gay club with my friends, having only decided hours before that we were going turned out to be one of the best alcohol infused nights I've had in a while

- Pumpkin Carving: After complaining to my friend Matt about my lack of Halloween plans we decided to spend a Friday night carving pumpkins and drinking hot chocolates. I was over ambitious with my pumpkin design and decided to go for, so naturally, one of the bats looked like it had a broken wing - but I had a great time doing it, nonetheless.



Watching:

Riverdale: Oh, so Riverdale... I'm a little obsessed. I'm utterly confused about the genre, sometimes it is crime investigation, sometimes it's teen romance, sometimes it's supernatural and sometimes it's musical, however, this weird mash-up seems to work. As it has gone on, my opinion of Cheryl Blossom has changed and she is now my idol. Also, I think Jughead is kind of wonderful. I'll be honest, I think the new session may have gone a little too far down the supernatural route, but it's only on the second episode as I write this, so things could change.

A Typical: I love this Netflix series a lot. It's about the life of a teenage boy and his family. Sam the main character is on the autistic spectrum. They a normal family dynamic, each character with their own issues and story. It's just quite wholesome. It's funny at times and sad at other times and all it feels very real.

The Mind of Jake Paul: This series was great, unlike anything I'd ever watched on Youtube before. I know people have been complaining that it humanised Jake Paul too much... but he is a human, so why should be not be seen as one? Yeah, I get that he's messed up before and can be seen as problematic, but it was interesting to see another side to him, to find out more of what's made him, how he is. I just thought this was great tbh.

You Me Her: I have never heard of this Netflix series before I watched it, but honestly it's great. The series is based around a married couple who both fall in love with a college student. It explores sexuality, polyamorous relationships, societies expectations of relationships, family dynamics. It's just really interesting, a lot more happens in the series that you'd expect.

All I See is You: This film is starring Blake Lively tells the story of a blind woman who regains her vision and how that impacts her marriage. This film is very beautifully shot, and very thought-provoking, but also a little confusing at times.

The Kissing Booth: I rewatched this and remember how much I love this film. The is the story of how a kissing booth brings a relationship to life. It's just a feel-good teen rom-com.

Reading

Articles:
Dolly Alderton on Personality Types in The Sunday Times Style.
Dolly Alderton on Confronting the Man Who Ghosted Her in The Sunday Times Style
Sir Philip Green named in Parliament as businessman at centre of Britain's #MeToo scandal in The Telegraph
Vera Papisova on Why Breaking Up and Being SIngle is Actually the Best in Teen Vogue


Books:
Playing Big by Tara Mohr
The Start of Me and You by Emery Lord
Feminist Don't Wear Pink and Other Lies by Scarlett Curtis

Blogs:
Carly Rowena on Body Positivity
The Anna Edit: My Top Reads of 2018 so far
What Olivia Did: 5 Skincare Favourites


Listening:

Podcasts
Feminist Don't Wear Pink with Helen Fielding
On the Line with Eileen Kelly on Embracing Your Sexuality
Don't Panic on How to Host a Halloween Party


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Friday, 26 October 2018

Introducing a new blog series...Dear Diary,




I don't usually introduce the type of blog content I want to write, however, in this post, I want to talk a little about a blog series I've got planned before I go ahead and hit the publish button on some more personal posts.


I've always been somebody who has kept diaries. On and off through the years, I've written down my emotions. I've put pen to paper to figure out where I'm at with life. Diary writing is that it's very raw, which is exactly why I want to do a blog series on it.

Something that is very important to me writing this blog is that I'm authentic, true to myself, that I'm human and I'm imperfect and learning. Blog posts in the style of diary entries will be invasive, yes. They will be real and raw, and personally, I think that's exactly how all the writing that really speaks to me is.


I'm not 100% sure what form they will take, each one may vary, but here are some things you can have:

1) Photo diaries, something more visual, using my photography to walk you through something of my favourite days.

2) Talking about the events, and the people in my life, letting you into what my ways look like, from the boring ones to the more exciting ones.

3) How I'm feeling, honestly. At the moment that I'm writing, my worries, my gratitude. All the shadow and light that crosses my mind. I'm going to try to be vulnerable here because I think that matters. The stream of conscious posts will remain that, almost unedited as if the pages in my diary.

4) Short posts

5) Long posts

6) Exploring. my relationships, my emotions, who I am, and what shapes that.

7) Hurt that I'm feeling, happiness that I'm experiencing. Good days, and bad days.

I guess it will take a while to get into the swing to writing these, so we'll soon see how they turn out.


I want this to feel like a safe space, and this may do the opposite, but I hope by giving you a real peek into my imperfect mind, others might find comfort, and maybe I will too.


I wish I'd kept all of my old journals to look back over, but they've ended up binned, so now I'll keep them here, for anyone to read. These post I'm hoping will work well with the vlogs I've started to film (you can find my youtube channel here) as I've decided to start documenting, this very lost chapter of my life, capture my life while I'm figuring things out - the first of which will go live Wenesday.


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Monday, 22 October 2018

Something has got to change.





Recently, I've found my self a little underwhelmed by my life, a little gutted that it isn't fuller. I've realised the life I'm living, is far from what I want. I've been wracking my brain endlessly, hoping for a solution to come to mind, something I can change to make everything fall into place, because where I am right now, does not feel on the money.

I've considered how to put things right, what I can change. I left the job I was unhappy in. I did a whole lot of unfollowing on social media, I spent a full day 'hinching' my bedroom. Now, I'm unemployed, my social media feeds are quieter and my room is clean, and my life is still unfulfilled.


Then something hit me, the thing I need to work on changing is not my surroundings, it's me. The life I lead now, is the life which I attracted. It's sort of a shit show, and that's all down to down to me.

I've been struggling lately. I've felt very alone and lost. I've been playing the victim, but now is the time I stop. It's the time I recognise a lot of this struggle is caused by the consequences of my own actions. My actions are something I can change and it's time for a change.

Of course, everything about this concept is daunting. Old habits die hard, you don't wake up one day and become a new person, it's a process.

So here are some things I'm going to work on changing:

1) Say yes, even when I'd rather spend my evening in the pjs reading my book  - I'm going to try to be more open to meeting new people, going to different places and just getting out more. I automatically sale my life short by choosing to stay in my bedroom when there is a whole world out there.

2) Run with ideas rather than putting them to the back of my mind - I tend to have loads of ideas buzzing around my head, and the majority of them get ignored, I guess mainly down to fear of trying. I'm going to try to ignore the fear, rather than the ideas and see how that works out for me.

3) Read more self-help and actually put the advice into practice - I'm a little obsessed with those slightly cringy self-help books. I tend to read them, but not actually do that much with the knowledge in them. I feel inspired for a day afterwards, and then I go back to living the same old life, rather than make the changes.

4) Practise what I preach: Meditate daily, write daily, read daily, keep a gratitude journal.

5) Fake it until I make it: Do the work I'd be doing if I already had the life I wanted.

6) Set realistic goals: Sometimes I think my goals can be over-ambitious, which then makes them scary, and leaves me doing nothing. I need to start concentrating on the next 5 minutes of my life instead of the next few years.

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