Sharper Emotions 

Sometimes I wonder
If I feel too intensely
If my heart breaks too easily
   Why I need to be handled so delicately
Desperately I desire to numb the sensitivity

The emotions that are sharper
Aren't just those darker
   My laugh echos louder
and smiles run deeper

My love create cosmic energy
which I feel moving through each inch of me

So maybe it's a blessing
that I don't feel less

Although mostly it seems 
I'm an emotional mess.


___________

Too Sensitive

Maybe next time
before you
confidently claim
I'm too sensitive
You might
think of my feeling
before you go about
hurting them.


____________

Unsure

For a precious
perfect instant
I felt so sure

But a moon has passed
and I guess I don't
anymore.


___________


Mosaic 

I thought
   You'd changed
That the past was something
   we could rearrange.

Gentles kisses would allow me
to disengage
Instead, I'm questioning why I stayed,
mistakes I've made.

I hoped we'd make
what we'd broken
into something
     beautiful
Like a ceramic mosaic,
Sticking shards to create art, in the places it fell apart.

But there's familiar you
I see peeking through
between giggles and kind gestures.

I can't unsee
You can't unsay
So maybe it's best 
we call it a day.


______________


One Week

Only a week has passed 
   Since I wondered 
If it were too soon 
to tell you
      I love you.

Now I'm questioning 
whether it's 
    Too late
to say
     Goodbye.


______________


Irrelevant 

How I strongly I feel
   for you
Is irrelevant
when it weakens
How I feel about
myself.


______________


Feeling Heavy

I think of my weight so often
 it leaves me feeling heavy
My clothes feel tight
and my mind implies
 that's not alright.

I punish my mistakes,
eat another slice of cake 
and whisper 
diet starts 
tomorrow. 

Tomorrow comes, I poke my tum
and eternalise shame
Finding somewhere new to point the blame. 
as if the shape of my body cause for complaint.
as if my curves represent wrongdoings
and stretch marks are a nuisance. 

I analyse my size, wonder if I'm too wide.
But if I took a moment to push the aesthetics aside,
be cliché and think of inside,
I'd remember

it's this body is keeping me alive.


_____


Monochrome Kaleidoscope

It's like I'm looking through a
         cryptic kaleidoscope
Of mirrored, shattered
black, grey and white
In search of confidence, it will be alright.
When I can't see clearly
through the monochrome
Alone amongst dancing disjointed shapes
Unable to see means of
escape.


_______

Unreachable

Late twenties
longing
for a career
which I can't quite reach
Is the loneliest place,
I've ever been.


________


Happily ever after

I felt free and light and happy
and then you called me heavy
and then it hit me
the weight of us
the weight of falling back
in love
Wondering if I'm enough
or maybe I'm too much.
Of knowing I deserve better
More than the kindness you endeavour
but can't quite master.

There's Gilmore girls and sunny days of laughter
and
occasional
coffee shop
tears
They leave you, confused. Unamused.
Brilliant, beautiful and emotional
It isn't a complete disaster
yet that's not the recipe for
happily after ever.


_________

Druken, Dancing Souls

The music stops.
The light obnoxiously turns on.
We realise the crowd has dissolved into a few drunken souls
dancing
through the chatter-filled silence.

We're not ready to go home.


_________

Not so pretty poetry

These words entanglements
we're supposed to bear some resemblance
to poetry
   pretty poetry.

They shouldn't be means to complain
but my body and soul
I feel they've been drained
So we're left with the scribbles
of going insane.


________

I regularly post poetry on my Instagram, so if you enjoyed this post, head over there for more!

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