Recently, I've found my self a little underwhelmed by my life, a little gutted that it isn't fuller. I've realised the life I'm living, is far from what I want. I've been wracking my brain endlessly, hoping for a solution to come to mind, something I can change to make everything fall into place because where I am right now, does not feel on the money.

I've considered how to put things right, what I can change. I left the job I was unhappy in. I did a whole lot of unfollowing on social media, I spent a full day 'hinching' my bedroom. Now, I'm unemployed, my social media feeds are quieter and my room is clean, and my life is still unfulfilled.


Then something hit me, the thing I need to work on changing is not my surroundings, it's me. The life I lead now is the life which I attracted. It's sort of a shit show, and that's all down to down to me.

I've been struggling lately. I've felt very alone and lost. I've been playing the victim, but now is the time I stop. It's the time I recognise a lot of this struggle is caused by the consequences of my own actions. My actions are something I can change and it's time for a change.

Of course, everything about this concept is daunting. Old habits die hard, you don't wake up one day and become a new person, it's a process.

So here are some things I'm going to work on changing:

1) Say yes, even when I'd rather spend my evening in the pjs reading my book  - I'm going to try to be more open to meeting new people, going to different places and just getting out more. I automatically sale my life short by choosing to stay in my bedroom when there is a whole world out there.

2) Run with ideas rather than putting them to the back of my mind - I tend to have loads of ideas buzzing around my head, and the majority of them get ignored, I guess mainly down to fear of trying. I'm going to try to ignore the fear, rather than the ideas and see how that works out for me.

3) Read more self-help and actually put the advice into practice - I'm a little obsessed with those slightly cringy self-help books. I tend to read them, but not actually do that much with the knowledge in them. I feel inspired for a day afterwards, and then I go back to living the same old life, rather than make the changes.

4) Practise what I preach: Meditate daily, write daily, read daily, keep a gratitude journal.

5) Fake it until I make it: Do the work I'd be doing if I already had the life I wanted.

6) Set realistic goals: Sometimes I think my goals can be over-ambitious, which then makes them scary, and leaves me doing nothing. I need to start concentrating on the next 5 minutes of my life instead of the next few years.

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