Lost my mind

Sometimes I wonder 
If I've lost my mind.
Maybe she's wandering down supermarket aisles, 
 like a child in search of Mum, after a mission to fetch bread.
Sometimes I wonder if one night I simply
put her to bed,
and she's not woken from her lie in, 
like a teenager snoozing at 2pm on a Saturday afternoon
Sometimes I wonder if she got bored of me
or peaked too soon.

  But if I'm quiet, I hear her whisper,
Her voice is loud when I choose to listen.
So maybe many
 will think I'm crazy.
 She's just been busy 
- my favourite lady. 

___

Many Things 


You were many things.
Unexpected and exciting,
Impossible,
Indecisive
Which ironically
left fate decided.

You were many things 
that I liked, 
and some things that shocked me 
Some made me smile
That made me laugh in a state joyful
   denial. 

You were many things.
But what startled me the most 
Was the moment  
I could feel the familiarity of your
   ghost.

You were many things.
Mostly wonderful 
but, that doesn't count for much when you're 
   invisible. 

 ____

Feeling Heavy


I think of my weight so often
 it leaves me feeling heavy
My clothes feel tight
and my mind implies
 that's not alright.

I punish my mistakes,
eat another slice of cake 
and whisper 
diet starts 
tomorrow. 

Tomorrow comes, I poke my tum
and eternalise shame
Finding somewhere new to point the blame. 
as if the shape of my body cause for complaint.
as if my curve represent wrongdoings
and stretch marks are a nuisance. 

I analyse my size, wonder if I'm too wide.
But if I took a moment to push the aesthetics aside,
be cliché and think of inside,
I'd remember
it's this body is keeping me alive. 

 ____

Lonely 


You reminded me I was lonely 
I’d forgotten how I felt
It seemed second nature 
Not to question quiet
   with eager awaiting ears. 

I forgot the comfort 
    the slightest touch could bring
That magic lives within the warmth of skin brushing
    skin
The spark a simple stroke ignites within.

Now I remember that I’m lonely,
As I’m sitting all alone 
I can’t help but regret your reminder.
It spun your insignificance, fast. 
Leaving me unsure whether I’m looking forward
Or glancing towards the
   past.  


____

Paint the Sky

I thought of painting the sky with 
You 
I pictured
   vibrant pink, violet, red, 
   electric blue. 
But then our colours swirled together 
Our energy drained from mixing 
We created the deepest shade of 
g r e y. 

That haunted sky 
Surrounded us, silent. 
I felt each syllable I heard the quiet clouds say. 

___

I regularly post poetry to Instagram, so if you want to read more of my words, follow me on there @chloeharriets


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