Monday, 21 May 2018

Life Lately

It's been a little while since I've written a casual catch up a blogpost, so today I wanted to talk about how life has been lately. In short, it's been pretty damn good, that's not to say there haven't been lows because of course they always exist, but overall to good stuff has outweighed the bad and I've felt pretty positive.



What I've Been Up To:


For the introverted home bird that I am, I've actually been kind of busy recently.  If you're UK based you'll know the sun has been blessing us with its presence, which has added an energetic spin on the atmosphere.

I had a picnic, my friends, Jaynie and Gina some friends. We bought lots of healthy (ish) food and had a catch up while snacking on hummus dipped pitta, whilst feeling the warmth of the sun, and 'awwing' at the cuteness of my friends beautiful baby Ryleigh.





One Saturday I went for a walk with Hannah and Matt, we had a heart to heart as we wandered past endless trees and admired bluebell between our laughter.





I've indulged in delicious coffee and told my secrets to my friends Kelsey when walking by the river taking in the unexpected beauty.

I've been going to see basketball games, alongside feeling like I'm part of One Tree Hill, I've actually found a sport that I feel joyful when I watch, and the electricity of the crowd is so much more than I'd expected.

I've been working out. I've started personal training, and two sessions a week, a few weeks in and I feel a million times better, although the sessions are harder than I ever imagined, I am constantly amazed my how much my body really can do, and I'm actually looking forward to my sessions (ask me during hill sprints and I'll tell you something different altogether).

I've been working a lot more, and I've not been hating it and reduced to tears after a long day. It's not my forever job, but I'm putting in more hours now, and feeling positive about it.




Watching;


13 Reasons Why
 I kind of love the controversial series. I admit there was a scene in the final episode which I had to turn away from, and the tiger warnings should be taken very seriously. But I actually like the show, I think it brings up a lot of serious issues that are often shied away from, and I think the actors and characterisation are great. The story lines are all fucked up, clever and obvious. I really love Clay's character, he feels very real.


Newness 
 My friend introduced me to this Netflix film and I love it a lot. I think it's a great insight into how modern-day dating can be, and it's done in a very beautiful way.

away with you by Will Darbyshire

Spring Capsule Wardrobe by What Olivia Did



Reading


Turtles All The Way Down by John Green 
I loved this young adult book very much. There's something very poetic about John Greens writing. The storyline is great, there are some mystery and some romance to it. It also covers themes such as mental health, wealth and friendship. The ended disappointed me slightly, but I understand why it ended how it did. I read this book in just a couple of days as I could not put it down, and it's definitely one I'll reach for again.

Caraval by Stephanie Garber 
This book was recommended to me by a friend and it both lived up to my expectations and disappointed me. The fantasy style book is quite dark in places and not my usual read, but the storyline had me gripped, and although I didn't like the main character and the end was pretty frustrating, I've got to admit, the narrative was pretty clever in places and didn't expect some of the twists.

Productivity Tips by SunBeamsJess

The Truth Behind The Self Employed Blogger by Wonderful You

5 Rules for Casual Sex by Hannah Witton

Embracing a Messy Life by Laura Jane Williams



Listening:


The Fringe of it on Instagram V Real Life

The Emma Guns Show with Lily Pebbles]

Nobody Panic on Procrastinating

Arctic Monkey - Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino

George Ezra - Staying at Tamara's




There's also a catch-up/favourites video on my Youtube Channel, and down below, it was filmed a  little while ago, so a lot of it isn't included here, plus, why would you not want to see me talk about all the things I've been loving.


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Monday, 14 May 2018

On Rejection.



Rejection is something we deal with more and more as time goes on, yet no matter how much we face it, it still completely sucks. No matter how impersonal it is, it always feels so damn personal, and the older you get, the more intense the rejections are. You're no longer crying because the boy you've been admiring from afar is yet to notice you exist, now you're being rejected from your dream job, which you are would have been great at given the chance, and the only single person to attend a wedding, after being dumped on social media by someone who never liked you enough to actually be your boyfriend in the first place.

I think self-worth is extremely important. I believe the world is a mirror, and the standards we set for ourselves are met by the world. It's important to feel worthy when you want others to see you that way. However, it's very difficult to feel good enough when the world is constantly telling you otherwise. I am aware I am capable of and deserve a job I want, but rejection after rejection can make me question that.

Within the blogging industry, rejection often makes an appearance. There is so much competition, it can make you feel invisible, showing up week after week, and shouting 'I'm here' to an empty room can become pretty tiresome.

Sometimes, I think rejection is there to test us. How far will we go? When will we stop showing up? Will we begin to settle, rather than face another no?



 A lot of the time with rejection, we've only ever had a taster of thing we want. We're not necessarily losing something we already had. It feels so incredibly ridiculous to be sad about losing something which was never yours in the first place. Also, sometimes logically we know the rejection is for the best, I certainly wouldn't want to be spending my days with someone who didn't want to be spending their days with me. There's a guilt which surrounds rejection sadness, but no matter how aware of the 'it's for the best' factor, you are still hit sharply with a ping of disappointment.


It's very easy to ignore rejection.
Rejection has been coming at me thick and fast recently, but still, I've had some of the happiest days, pushing to the back of my mind the chants of the world saying I'm not enough.

 I recently pulled a bit of a Rory Gilmore. You know when Rory and Dean break up, and Rory refuses to wallow, instead, she gets up early and completes a ridiculously long to-do list? I was 'dumped' by someone I was never really with, so I went to babysitting, finished reading a book and have the best day ever with my friend the next day. My lack of upset highlighted two things, firstly, I was not that fussed by the guy the first place, secondly, the upset would come later on, because no matter how not unfussed I initially felt, it was still somebody deciding I was not enough.

The thing about rejection is, it doesn't kill us. Life goes on and we become stronger. But ultimately knowing that kind of make you feel a little pathetic when you break your heart over not getting that job when the realist in you knows there will be other jobs.

The comparison is the theft of joy, and I am very pro concentrating on what's going on in your lane, rather than worrying about those overtaking. But when you're rejected, comparison tends to poke its head around the corner. I didn't get that job because someone was better than me, is sometimes just the fact. It's a sucky fact, but a fact nonetheless.

Recently on a podcast, I heard Jen Sincero say "You should be proud of your rejections because they're evidence you stepped outside your comfort zone"


That's something I've never considered before because with rejection comes the obvious disappointment, I've not taken the time to consider the steps I needed to take in order to be rejected.

I am in the process of looking for a new job, attempting to start a career which I'm proud of. Of course, rejections are coming in left, right and centre. I interviewed for a job the other day, which I would have been great at, I didn't get it. But it shows I'm trying right? These rejections are evidence I'm not settling. They're teaching me and enabling me to grow as I push the walls of my comfort zone.


Next time I get rejected, I will allow myself to feel that oh so human sadness but honestly, if I keep being rejected, it only means I'm trying to move forward, and that is something to have pride in.
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Monday, 7 May 2018

Add a Touch of Romance.




There's something quite wonderful about the start of a new romantic relationship. Beyond the excitement of 'this person wants to kiss me', once you get past the sometimes awkward first few dates, you then have someone to do cool stuff with. There's someone to go to the cinema with when the film you really want to see is showing. There's someone to look at art with and go to museums with when you want to feel cultured. There's someone to try out new restaurants with and exploring the part of the city you've never visited with. If you're stuck for what to do, pages and pages will come up when you google 'cool date ideas'  Not only are you dating but your Instagram game has stepped up a notch because heck you're life is so much more interesting now you've got somebody who stops you spending your evenings going to bed at 9pm with a good book.





But what if you have 0 romantic interests? A dislike for tinder? and have no desire is awkward first dates in hope to reach something beyond that? Heck, what if you like 9pm bedtimes and a good book? because I certainly do. Should you miss out the world which seems open to exploring when you step into a new relationship? Hell No.

Date yourself. Date your friends. I recently heard this the saying

 "Put a little more friendship into your romantic relationships and a little romance into your friendships" 



I've haven't stopped thinking about the romance in my friendships since. 

Friendships are just as valuable, if not more so that your romantic relationships. Treat them like it. Buy your friends flowers and explore cities together.


Lately, my life has felt kind of romantic without any actual romance.

I've visited museums, fell in love with the art at an exhibition and spoke to friends about my most meaningful topics. I've drunk really good coffee in the cutest coffee shops. I've dressed up.


Sometimes it's about just doing the thing you want to do. Go out alone. The other day, I sat in a coffee shop, wearing a pretty dress sipping a latte and people watching and I think there's romance in that.

I've wandered in the sun chatting with a friend and watching the world pass us by.

I've eaten ice creams and drank beers.
I sat across from my friend and wrote a poem while enjoying her company.

I've just had a really nice time. And it all happened when I realised, I didn't matter if I had no one to date, no one who might one day be my boyfriend, when I have myself and so many other wonderful relationships.

It's nice to date without getting home and spending my evening analysing all that I said, and wondering if he's going to text me back.

Look for romance in the day to day, and in the relationships, you already have, and enjoy a new world of dating.



Outfit Details:


Pictures were taken at Bristol Museum, at the Grayson and Perry Exhibition.

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