Monday, 14 May 2018

On Rejection.



Rejection is something we deal with more and more as time goes on, yet no matter how much we face it, it still completely sucks. No matter how impersonal it is, it always feels so damn personal, and the older you get, the more intense the rejections are. You're no longer crying because the boy you've been admiring from afar is yet to notice you exist, now you're being rejected from your dream job, which you are would have been great at given the chance, and the only single person to attend a wedding, after being dumped on social media by someone who never liked you enough to actually be your boyfriend in the first place.

I think self-worth is extremely important. I believe the world is a mirror, and the standards we set for ourselves are met by the world. It's important to feel worthy when you want others to see you that way. However, it's very difficult to feel good enough when the world is constantly telling you otherwise. I am aware I am capable of and deserve a job I want, but rejection after rejection can make me question that.

Within the blogging industry, rejection often makes an appearance. There is so much competition, it can make you feel invisible, showing up week after week, and shouting 'I'm here' to an empty room can become pretty tiresome.

Sometimes, I think rejection is there to test us. How far will we go? When will we stop showing up? Will we begin to settle, rather than face another no?



 A lot of the time with rejection, we've only ever had a taster of thing we want. We're not necessarily losing something we already had. It feels so incredibly ridiculous to be sad about losing something which was never yours in the first place. Also, sometimes logically we know the rejection is for the best, I certainly wouldn't want to be spending my days with someone who didn't want to be spending their days with me. There's a guilt which surrounds rejection sadness, but no matter how aware of the 'it's for the best' factor, you are still hit sharply with a ping of disappointment.


It's very easy to ignore rejection.
Rejection has been coming at me thick and fast recently, but still, I've had some of the happiest days, pushing to the back of my mind the chants of the world saying I'm not enough.

 I recently pulled a bit of a Rory Gilmore. You know when Rory and Dean break up, and Rory refuses to wallow, instead, she gets up early and completes a ridiculously long to-do list? I was 'dumped' by someone I was never really with, so I went to babysitting, finished reading a book and have the best day ever with my friend the next day. My lack of upset highlighted two things, firstly, I was not that fussed by the guy the first place, secondly, the upset would come later on, because no matter how not unfussed I initially felt, it was still somebody deciding I was not enough.

The thing about rejection is, it doesn't kill us. Life goes on and we become stronger. But ultimately knowing that kind of make you feel a little pathetic when you break your heart over not getting that job when the realist in you knows there will be other jobs.

The comparison is the theft of joy, and I am very pro concentrating on what's going on in your lane, rather than worrying about those overtaking. But when you're rejected, comparison tends to poke its head around the corner. I didn't get that job because someone was better than me, is sometimes just the fact. It's a sucky fact, but a fact nonetheless.

Recently on a podcast, I heard Jen Sincero say "You should be proud of your rejections because they're evidence you stepped outside your comfort zone"


That's something I've never considered before because with rejection comes the obvious disappointment, I've not taken the time to consider the steps I needed to take in order to be rejected.

I am in the process of looking for a new job, attempting to start a career which I'm proud of. Of course, rejections are coming in left, right and centre. I interviewed for a job the other day, which I would have been great at, I didn't get it. But it shows I'm trying right? These rejections are evidence I'm not settling. They're teaching me and enabling me to grow as I push the walls of my comfort zone.


Next time I get rejected, I will allow myself to feel that oh so human sadness but honestly, if I keep being rejected, it only means I'm trying to move forward, and that is something to have pride in.
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